Thoughts to Ponder ================== Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? Why do they call it a TV set if you only get one? Why do they call them apartments when they're all stuck together? Why are hot dogs sold in 10-packs and buns sold in 8-packs? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do they report power outages on TV? Why doesn't Super Glue stick to the bottle? If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a pice of buttered toast on the back of a cat and dropped it? Why ask why? Try Bud dry. Then again, if Bud's made from water, how can it be dry? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? Who took a bite out of the Apple logo? If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights, what happens? Why do you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? Just "before" someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach? When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane? When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? If someone has a mid-life crises while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why do you have a hot-water heater when you don't need to heat hot water? If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Shouldn't there be a shorter word than monosyllabic? Why isn't there a knob on a TV set so we could turn up the intelligence? There is a brightness knob, but it doesn't work! Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight? Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11? At a baseball game, why do they call them the stands if everyone is sitting down? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why is it so hard to remember how to spell Mnemonic? If yogurt goes bad, how can you tell? Why is the official car of the US ski team a Subaru? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? Is there another word for synonym? How can there be self-help "groups"? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? If a hair from your head falls out, do you ever wonder what held it in yesterday? Do witches run spell checkers? If our knees were bent the other way, what would a chair look like? Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure? If a cow laughed, would milk come of out her nose? Why does sour cream have an expiration date? You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Why is the word "little" twice as big as the word "big"? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?